Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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