I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
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i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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