whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
