Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
