I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
