The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
