i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize