hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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