Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard we made out
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
