Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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