On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
