If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
