I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
