Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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