In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
