whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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