i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize