He uses pillows to masturbate.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize