Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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