i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize