is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
