I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
