Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The feeling are messing with the penis
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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