Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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