You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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