no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
