i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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