10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
