whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
