Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
