New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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