Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
