Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize