I heard we made out
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
