im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
one two three fourrrrnication!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
