it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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