The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
