i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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