I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
