The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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