i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
