Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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