actually, I'm a sock model
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
