I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
