I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
