there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
