bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
