I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
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Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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