i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
