Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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