Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize