OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
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girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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