It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
