i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
