Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
