dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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