I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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