well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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