I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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