Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
