I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
