i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
